Profile: The Apple Obsessive

Typical age:

Whenever they start to feel their opinions about electronic devices is the most important.

How to identify them:

1. They wear an iPhone like a badge. Making sure it’s constantly on view.
2. They feel the need to get their Mac out in every situation. Whether their on a train for one stop or having a quick coffee, they always whip it out.
3. They will have a notably smug look if you talk about any tech based issue you’ve had. Usually followed by a “hmmmm” sound.
4. The limit of their conversation topics makes you suspect they may actually be an apple run robot.

Things you’ll hear them say:

“You back up right?”

“Get a Mac, get a Mac NOW!” A threat that appears every time you see them. Note: this sentence never seems to be in context within the conversation you are having.

These words in every sentence:

• Connectivity
• Memory
• Apps
• Update

Things you’ll want to say to them:

“I literally don’t care I just need something with the internet.”

“I only understood 4 words you just said and 2 of them were ‘I’.”

How to know if you are one:

You will:

1. Have a dawning sense of realisation when you think about how many times people have said the above to you when you try to start a tech chat. Yes that is what all of your friends say to you.
2. Spend more time finding out stuff about apple products than actually doing anything with it.
3. Feel a blood vessel burst when people say “well theres no difference between apple and anything else is there?”